CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aAMILIA HEND I JUST CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE….. JUST WANT TO CUT…. FUCK LIFE…. JUST WANT THE MEMORIES AND STUFF TO STOP.

NO ONE WILL TAKE THE TIME TO JUST TALK TO ME BECAUSE I DON’T SPEAK. I TYPE, THAT’S HOW I COMMUNICATE. WHY BOTHER TO TRY ANYMORE…. THE HOSPITAL CAN’T DO ANYMORE FOR US. WE LEFT THE LIVING WITH DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER GROUP BECAUSE THEY WANT TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR EVERYTHING…… JUST WANT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

6 Replies to “CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  1. I know you don’t know me…but I wanted you to know there is hope..take it from someone who has been there and found the way out of the dark place. a few tips on finding the way out. don’t stay stagnant. always constantly fight. never give up. when you give up and remain stagnant it only is downhill. they say you can reach bottom. but every time you hit it, the floor gives and you discover a new level down.

    you’ll find the mental health workers to be a bit insulting and demeaning. they don’t do it on purpose. forgive them. a good way to counter the way it makes you feel is to be helpful towards others. you are then contributing in your own way to a better world. and you never know how deeply you can impact them with a small gesture of kindness..

    DO NOT cut. the feelings fade. the scars do not. they will always be there and can lead to awkward questions later in life when working or volunteering. someone people judge that you are fragile because of it. it can be very annoying and embarrassing as alot of emotion are attached to the scars you don’t always wish to share…instead put a thin elastic on your wrist, like a hair tie. and whenever you get the erg to cut snap it hard against the inside of your wrist. it doesn’t get rid of the erg but minimizes it.

    The memories are going to replay in your mind for awhile…you have to first learn to forgive without ever receiving an apology. not because they deserve it. but because you do. then after forgiveness, consciously fight to let it go. the memories are like a flood at first. but slowly they slow down. it can take months or years, it’s dependent on you. how long it takes. you need to work out all the feelings attached to them. then let them go. leave the past in the past. there’s nothing you can do to change it. so why torment yourself longer with them?

    surround yourself with upbeat things. if you like deathmetal or heavy rock you should cut it off for awhile, listen to light upbeat music. you’ll thank yourself for it. it affects you in a very heavy way during this time. your mind is vulnerable at this time and it can affect the health of you in an unseen way. compound depression and anxiety.

    keep hope in your heart, fight against everything and anything that might threaten it. a thought dismiss it or contradict, a circumstance see as a challenge. hope is your mainstay and history has shown hope can change the world in amazing ways.

    always keep in mind, others have been in the dark place before. and if they could make it out, so can you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. everyone needs to know someone out there is listening and cares, if someone had done it for me things might have turned out differently. but you know what I know it seems cliche to say but you are a warrior. this is your war. my dad told me once when you face the hardest battle you face it alone. not that people don’t care. they usually don’t know how to battle it. I know it seems insurmountable. but looking back once it’s a little easier. you’ll see. you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come. and be pleased with yourself. you did what you were sure you could not. and I honestly believe you will be an amazing person because you have been there. then you will pass on the experience to someone else who is still fighting there way out. you got this Amelia. don’t give up, fight the good fight, no matter what, you’ll know you did your best and have no regrets because of it.

    Sonia

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  3. I have been in that state frequently and very recently. It is a terrifying place to be as we most often retreat into littlespace which makes thing super scary. For us, we are soooo exhausted by the constant onslaught of memory and internal dialogue.

    We DO have help though. The Canadian Mental Health Association, our trauma therapist, and friends. Admittedly it can be hard to remember this when ‘in the storm’.

    Like

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