Going home, not okay

So, they have sent us home. This isn’t even legal or ethical. They just waited until the nurse who had talked to me earlier left, and then an ER doctor came in and basically said they were sending me home. Going to need all the support I can get. My case worker told me the other day that if I go to the hospital where they don’t think it is an emergency then my case worker will terminate services with them. Don’t know what I’m supposed to do. They only made like a two-sentence safety plan.

Desperate

So, we are trying our best to get help, but people are not listening to us. We came to the ER last night because the whole system was feeling suicidal and at one point I came back and my meds were all laid out to take. Last night, the worker that sauce was ready to admit us. I signed a voluntary form and everything. Then this morning another worker came in and she had called my psychiatrist and he said I wasn’t eligible for inpatient. Thank goodness the charge nurse listened to me and he called my psychiatrist back. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I hope we get the help we need. I have always been told that if I’m not feeling safe that I’m supposed to go to the ER which is what I did and everytime I go they just send us home with a stupid two-sentence safety plan. This is even more concerning because now I take a heart medication. I know that if we take that, in combination with other things we will not survive at least if we take all of it. I don’t mean this post to be triggering to any of my readers. From the collective

Update time

So I got an LG v20 phone today. I’m really looking forward to using it. How is everyone doing today? Please call me with a few words about how your day is going or how you cope with your mental illness.

Damn thoughts!

I know the nighttime is hard for me, but the daytime is becoming just as hard. Flashbacks all the time and Nightmares even during the day when I’m trying to sleep. Just want to do something to end everything I’m tired of the pain I’m tired of it all and. Just want to do something to end everything I’m tired of the pain I’m tired of it all I’m just sick and tired Amelia age 16

Angry

I’m just so angry all the time. Why mommy did you beat me and do the things you did? Why daddy did you do the things you did? I don’t understand why I had to go through. I’m just so angry and alone and frustrated. only sixteen, but I have a lot to be angry about. I just wish things had been different when I was younger. Amelia tags{lbindness, mental illness, Alters, dissociative identity disorder}

Feelings

Hey, it’s Amelia, and I am feeling interesting. I am feeling aggravated and agitated. I am doing okay I guess. We’ll talk more about feeling post. I just need someone to vent to. I’m only sixteen, but I have a lot of responsibility to uphold the system. I just need a friend. I’m just hoping to be able to talk to people more I just really don’t know what to say. I’m feeling a lot of things, and some of them can’t be mentioned on this blog. I just wish everything would stop and go away. I hate my marriage then flashbacks. I just hate it. I just want some form of really and I don’t care how I get it. It needs to come, and it needs to come now. I need me!

therapy today

so, I have therapy today, and it was really good. We talked a lot about the Alters And what I could do to keep them all safe. We discussed a lot about Amelia and Amber and how we could work on teaching them better coping skills I also discussed process cooperation instead of integration with the Alters.

Lucy

hey, it Lucy and me scared. We don’t want to remember the stuff that happened to us. Me only four, but me knows how to type. Me is using voice to text. Me no like big people. Me scared of big people.

update time

so, I had nightmares last night about being chased by a shark. Love like 2 hours today, and I still have nightmare. I slept like 2 hours today, and I still have nightmares. I have therapy tomorrow, and maybe some of my alters will come out to speak. I’m not sure though, so I will just keep I’m not sure though, so I will just keep trying anyway. I’m trying to make this blog post longer so I can get more followers and readers I’m trying to make this blog post longer so I can get more followers and readers. struggling with thoughts of anorexia today including restricting and over-exercising. My alters are going to make blog posts today introducing themselves and telling them a little Introducing themselves and telling them a little about themselves. thanks for reading, and everyone have a Thanks for reading, and everyone have a blessed day.

Hard night

so, I had a hard night last night. I had a dream that I was swimming and I was being chased by shark. It was very much. I also had dreams about my childhood and stuff that went on there. I just wish I could make everything stop and go away. I could go to the other facility and everything I hope everything went well. I hope everything went well today with the doctor being able to help me get into the other Priscilla. I really have to go to Michigan, and I think my life would be much better there. I have more opportunities there because they have a guide dog school, they also have group homes for people with mental illness.