So feeling very alone right now. Just could really use a friend. If anyone is aroud, please don’t hessitate to comment.
So, last night, some alters were suicidal because of the flashbacks and nightmares. They put us on one to one last night, but communication got lost between second and third shift staff as the people this morning said I was on fifteen minute checks.
Hi, it’s Amilia, and I’m having food issues. Last night the kitchen gave us two peanut Butter sandwiches and chocolate milk. I also drank 64 ounces of water. I was full afterwards and couldn’t keep the food down….
So, I’m very frustrated right now. The people in charge of my care aren’t taking me seriously. My doctor won’t give me the DID diagnosis because it takes like three hours to evaluate for it. My doctor only sees us for like five minutes at a time. The only one who believes me is my counselor. She can’t diagnose me though.
So, today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He told me that my children could be born blind or have alters. He asked me if I’ve considered that. I told him that my children wouldn’t have alters unless they were abused. I told him that he needed to leave. I told him that even if my children were born blind that I would still keep them. He was damaged goods anyway. I deserve so much better than him.
In the group home where we live, our bedrooms are cold. The cold reminds me of being in an old house where we used to live with my parents. We had no food, no blankets, and very little clothing. I know I’m not there now, but it’s so cold that it just reminds me of being there ‘ag. Other than that, I’m having a prety okay day. Haven’t had the urge to cut… That’s good. When I take naps without taking my medicine for nightmares, I still have them which isn’t good, but I survive. I’ve been fighting the urges to not eat or to purge my food. I’m happy to say that I’ve made it successfully without doing either. I also haven’t had any breakdowns which makes today a good day. Never stop believing in yourself.