Went to the cardiologists today and they said I could have one of three things postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, orthostatic hypotension, or inappropriate sinus tachycardia. We have to have an echocardiogram done and we also have to see an electrophysiologist. I looked up what that kind of doctor is and it freaks me out. The doctor told me to stay hydrated taking extra salt and if my heart rate stayed above 130 even after sitting down for longer than 15 minutes I’m supposed to go to the ER for medical attention. They wanted to put a 21-day bodyguardian monitor on me, but my stupid freaking Medicaid wouldn’t cover it. They also want me to wear compression socks.
In the last two months I have gone from 153 pounds to 119 pounds and I am 5‘3“ tall. I don’t want to admit it, but I think this is an eating disorder relapse. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before in my blog, but I struggled with anorexia for a total of 10 years. My caseworker just attributes the weight-loss to stress and depression, but she even told me that if it gets to the point where I am obsessing over calories and have a fear of gaining weight that that’s when it becomes a problem and a disorder. I don’t think this living on my own thing is working out as well as I hoped it would. I just need more support than what I can provide for myself. I was told by my therapist at the center against sexual assault that I needed to go to and more intensive therapy or residential place, but Medicaid doesn’t pay for residential, so I’m kind of out of luck there. If anyone has any resources on Medicaid and eating disorder treatment, please let me know.