good newsffffffffffffffto !

So I get to go to the trauma disorders program. I’m getting Meridian Medicaid starting on December 1. Ikm looking forard to this. I also found a therapist who understands DID. She’s willing to consult with my current therapist and provide additional support since mycurrent therapist knows not a lot about DID.

SOS!!!!!!

So its Rayette, and im just feeling like total crap. Weve had five suicide attempts in the past month no make that six. We keep going to the hospital for help after each attempt, but they keep sending us home. Dealing with programming stuff and feeling very triggered and alone. Just need a friend. Just want to die!!!!!!!!! There are alters who have plans that they feel like they have to go through with them because of the programming… Someone please talk to us!!!!!!!!!! Just want to end it all!!!!!!!

CANT DO THIS!!!!!!

HI, ITS AMILIA, AND I JUST CANT DO THIS. I BOUGHT A BOTTLE OF TYLENOL. GOING TO TRY AND GO TO SLEEP TO GET MY MIND OFF THINGS, BUT IF I CANT….. I DON’T KNOW. SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE SUPPORT. I COULD REALLY USE IT RIGHT NOW. FEELING LIKE I WANT TO JUST END THINGS……

Amilia

psychiatrist appointment

So, we had our psychiatrist appointment yesterday, and the doctor put me on Ambian for sleep and Buspar for anxiety. He said he couldn’t put us on anything else because of the possibility of us overdosing….. I can understand that, but I need something for this fucking depression and these mood shifts. I told him about our panic attacks that would get so bad that I would end up dissociating because I would get so overwhelmed that another part would take over and end up doing harm to the body. He’s starting me off on ten MG of Buspar three times a day and five MG of ambian at bedtime. The manager of the clinic is working on getting me into an inpatient program for trauma disorders. I hate it when people tell me that Jesus can heal a chemical imbalance. I hate stupid religion. I don’t like it when people throw Scripture at me like it’s the answer to everything. If things would be solved just by praying about it, then we wouldn’t need meds or therapists, and the psychiatrists and therapists would be without a job. Don’t know how much more of this depression I can take.

Rayette

Amilia feeling like shit

So, it’s Amilia, and I’m feeling like total shit. Just want to fucking die. Just really need a friend. Cant take the memories anymore….. Please if anyone’s out there, I need someone. Please feel free to email me at

Rayette.rucker23

I will answer. You can also comment on here.

fuck our team!!!!!!!!

So spoke with our therapist earlier, and she didn’t even seem like she cared. She told us that maybe we needed to learn to live without the hospital as an option. I asked her what I should do if we ever felt suicidal again, and she said, well, you don’t really have any other options besides living with the feelings and thoughts. We cant keep going on like this. We’ve had five suicide attempts in the last three weeks, one of which almost killed us. By the way, our therapist is the one who came to see us the day before the most recent overdose in the hospital. She came in the room and didn’t even ask how we were doing. She just said that they were sending us home. We didn’t sign the safety plan and even told her what we were going to do when we got home, and she still sent us home. Well, fuck all of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amilia

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accused of medically abusing the hospital ER

So we’ve been accused of medically abusing the hospital ER because we’ve been there o many times. They told us the next time we go there at all, they will have us committed to an institution, have the state take guardianship and take away my rignhts. Cant even go there for medical issues. Well, fuck them and theuy’re stupid fucking hospital which is by the way named Pass Away Hospital.

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going to end it

ITS AMILIA AND IM JUST DONE. THE HOSPITAL DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT US. JUST GOING TO KILL MYSELF….. RAYETTE TRIED PLEADING WITH THE DOCTOR, BUT TO NO AVAIL. WE CANT LIVE BY OURSELVES WITHOUT THE PROPPER SUPPORT. JUST GOING TO SLIT MY FUCKING WRISTS….. JUST WANT THIS FUCKING PAIN TO STOP!!!!!!!!!

AMILIA AGE 16

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Amilia very suicidal…..

So Amilia is very suicidal. She wants to slit our wrists until there is nothing left to drain out. She’s also hearing voices telling her to just do this. It also doesn’t help that she doesn’t speak. I don’t trust her.

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